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Canton
pilgrimage The NFL’s face-painted fanatics infiltrate “Pro Football’s
Best Weekend”
by Brian O’Neill
I admit it, I’m a football fan. I’m not talking Buckeyes either.
That’s strictly amateur, a nice appetizer to start off your weekend.
It’s no surprise that Sunday is when NFL games are played, because
that’s the Sabbath, a holy day, the day the Lord rested—no doubt
with a remote in one hand and a Schlitz in the other.
Canton is the sport’s Mecca, two hours northeast of Columbus. For
one weekend in August, a pilgrimage is made by fans, media and the
warriors themselves, transforming the hamlet into a hub of energy
and excitement. The locals don’t seem jaded or terrified. They dutifully
spit-shine their Browns mailboxes for the parade of tourists, and
even the Canton dwellers pine for a glimpse of an NFL hero or two.
As new inductee Dan Hampton, a former defensive lineman for the
Bears who called his 29 operations and 4,000 stitches “a badge of
honor,” put it, “It’s hard to believe that a town like Canton can
put something together like this. It’s awesome.”
“Would you like to see my ass?”: The question came from a woman
affectionately known as The Bone Lady. She was hard to miss amidst
the throng of humanity loitering around the hallowed Hall of Fame
grounds for this year’s big weekend, August 3-5; even among the
face-painted, costumed fanatics, she stood out with her huge faux-beehive
covered in doggie treats, large Milk Bone in her gloved hand and
various pro-Cleveland Browns slogans plastered over her burnt sienna
skirt. Lifting up the skirt, she showed off a sentiment shared by
many a Browns fan, emblazoned on her rear: “Steelers Suck.”
The Bone Lady, who’s real name is Debra Darnall, has lived in Columbus
for the past 15 years. You might see her huge SUV trawling the streets
here—it’s as inconspicuously decorated as she is. She had the distinction
of being the first bona fide (or in her case, bone-a-fide) Hall-of-Famer
I met on the trip, from the class of 2001.
Yes, The Bone Lady is in the Hall of Fame, the fan’s wing to be
exact. She was picked by Visa, sponsors of this enshrinement, after
writing an essay about her diehard love for the Browns. “I didn’t
watch a single NFL game for three years after the Browns moved,”
she recalls. “Not even the Super Bowl.”
Baseball is once again threatening to hold its fans hostage through
another work stoppage, while the NFL inducts its fans into the Pro
Football Hall of Fame. You do the math.
Jim Kelly Day: Buffalo is a lot like Columbus—the Bills are the
Buckeyes, the heart and soul of the town, with the Sabres and Blue
Jackets serving as curious diversions that natives like to see do
well, but won’t knock themselves out over. Kelly was the heart and
soul of the Bills, making him the heart and soul of Buffalo, their
equivalent of Archie Griffin.
Of course, Kelly didn’t help matters by personally inviting 1,200
of his closet friends to join him in Canton. Kelly’s entourage made
P. Diddy’s posse passé—it took up five area hotels, and he tracked
down Pop Warner coaches, his centers from every level he played,
coaches, family, friends and the valet guy who parked his car once.
They were all over the place. While in line for the bathroom, behind
me was former Bills defensive end Phil Hansen, and in front of me
an invitee of Kelly’s, summoned because he knew Kelly’s brothers
who lived in Richmond, Virginia.
“Is there anyone here from Buffalo?” asked former Bills coach Marv
Levy as he presented his quarterback. After the enthusiastic applause,
he rhetorically added, “Is there anyone left in Buffalo?” To be
sure, it would have been a great day to loot western New York.
The exhibition game: The induction ceremony highlights the NFL’s
past, but the Hall of Fame exhibition game, the first of the season,
showcases the future. This year it was the old-guard New York Giants
playing against the Houston Texans in the first-ever game for the
expansion team.
During the teams’ practices, fans screamed for autographs from players,
renowned announcer and videogame shill John Madden, and a couple
guys who were just hanging out. It turned out they were members
of the NYPD and FDNY who came along as guests of the Giants. Watching
them sign every hat and ticket stub handed to them was a cool experience,
putting into perspective who the real heroes are.
Attending Enshrinement Weekend is a lot crazier than going up to
the Pro Football Hall of Fame on a sleepy weekend in March, and
we didn’t get to see as much of the Hall’s exhibits as we would
have liked because of the sheer press of activities set up for patrons.
But for football’s true fans, it doesn’t matter when you make the
pilgrimage—every day is a holy day in Canton.
August 15, 2002 Copyright © 2002 Columbus Alive, Inc. All
rights reserved.
Debra
Darnall Bio
Bone
Lady appearances
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